There are so many things that we can do during a lucid dream – oftentimes people will indulge in activities that they are unable to in real life. Some examples of this are flying, free-diving to the bottom of the ocean or time-travel, and there’s no denying that these things are super exciting. However, one of the most popular things to do in a lucid dream is to have sex.
For those who are inexperienced in lucid dreaming, this may seem like an ordinary, mundane thing that we are easily able to do in our waking lives. And of course, this is true but as a result of your heightened senses and ability to do whatever you please, lucid dream sex can be unlike anything you have ever experienced.
That being said, there are some downsides to this so it pays to be mindful of when, how and with whom you get intimate whilst in a lucid dream.
Can I Have Sex In A Lucid Dream?
Having sex whilst lucid is perfectly possible – after all, the only limit to your lucid dreams is your imagination. In fact, one of the most common reasons that people are attracted to lucid dreaming is because they want to experience lucid dream sex.
If you’ve ever wondered what it is like to spend the night with your favourite celebrity or wanted to live out a sexual fantasy that your partner simply wouldn’t understand, a lucid dream is an ideal place to experiment.
How Does It Work?
Lucid dreams happen during rapid-eye-movement sleep, or REM sleep for short and it is well known that during this stage of sleep, the genitals are easily aroused, for this reason, you may have experienced some kind of sexual dream or even orgasmed during your sleep.
Also, many people who have experienced lucid dream sex report a sensation equal to or greater than that in their waking lives as well as an increased sex drive whilst in the dream. The physical arousal during REM sleep seems to have a lot to answer for – not that we’re complaining.
How Easy Is It To Have Sex In A Lucid Dream?
Lucid dreaming is, for most of us, something that needs to be practised to get right but with so many people learning how to lucid dream in order to have sex, failure is frequently experienced.
One of the first things that any lucid dreaming expert will tell you is to avoid diving right into your first lucid dream and attempting to get down and dirty with the first person your mind brews up – you will likely become so excited that you will wake yourself up.
Before you begin indulging your sexual fantasies, it is important to have a good grip on how to maintain and control your lucidity. If you have ever attempted to lucid dream, you will know how easy it is to either wake up or fall back into unconscious dreaming.
Even when you have honed your ability to lucid dream for longer periods of time, having sex may be the thing that tips you over the edge and back into reality.
The sensations we experience during sexual arousal are so heightened during your lucid dreams that they always stand a chance of disturbing the dream – for this reason, you should never make lucid dream sex the sole purpose of the activity.
If I Orgasm During A Lucid Dream, Will I Orgasm In Real Life?
For some lucid dreamers, there may be a sense of self-consciousness when it comes to orgasming whilst asleep – this might be as a result of sleeping next to a partner and wondering whether they will notice the activity, especially if you are dreaming about someone other than them.
Studies have shown that when people experience sexual activity or responses, particularly an orgasm whilst lucid, this is indeed mirrored in their physical response, with many men actually ejaculating whilst having a lucid dream. Other physical signs that were observed included an elevated heartbeat and a change in the vaginal pulse.
That being said, there are plenty of people who take part in lucid dream sex and show no physical response at all. It would appear that, despite a lot of scientific research, how we experience lucid dream sex is largely down to chance.
Should I Engage in Lucid Dream Sex If I Have A Partner?
There is some speculation that exploring your sexual fantasies in the lucid realm is a form of infidelity, and whilst this may be true for some people, for others it couldn’t be further from the truth.
Your morals and feelings should be taken into account when deciding whether to experiment with lucid dream sex, there is no right or wrong.
Pros And Cons Of Lucid Dream Sex
For the most part, having sex in a lucid dream is an enjoyable experience that you will likely want to return to time and again, however, as with anything there are pros and cons to doing it. Let’s take a look at these.
- For anyone who is particularly reserved when it comes to having sex in real life, acting out any fantasies in a lucid dream provides a safe environment without fear of judgement. This may even be a healing process which can help those who struggle with intimacy issues or engaging with a partner. Regularly having lucid dream sex may boost confidence and translate into a healthier and happier sex life in reality.
- People who are questioning their sexuality may find that experimenting in a lucid dream provides them with greater clarity in who they are and can help them to better understand their sexuality.
- Of course, having sexual relations in a lucid dream means that the physical risks associated with multiple sexual partners are completely eradicated – there is no chance of contracting an STI and no possibility of unwanted pregnancy, making it a much safer alternative for those who do not wish to be intimate with only one partner.
- If you are in a long-term relationship, lucid dream sex allows you to experiment sexually with other people, perhaps other genders without any risk of hurting your significant other’s feelings. Provided that you feel morally able, you are free to explore your deepest desires.
- Many people who have had sex in their lucid dreams report much more intense sensations and this can be wonderful to experience.
- Despite our ability to control certain aspects of a lucid dream, some things are often beyond our control and one of the most common problems reported by people taking part in lucid dream sex is that their partner is unwilling to take part, disappears or morphs into someone else partway through or turns up looking completely unattractive. If you’ve been fantasising over someone from work and know that, in real life, there would be no chance of ever cosying up with them, your subconscious may carry this over into your dream and the character may end up rejecting you. This can be disappointing but it certainly beats the embarrassment of it occurring in your waking life.
- For some people, getting up close and personal to a dream character can become quite addictive and this may be even more prominent if you are frequently making love to someone in a dream who you find attractive in real life. Your attraction to this person may be increased despite many people believing that having dream sex with them will be enough to sate your desires.
Tips For Lucid Dream Sex
Exploring your lucid dreams is certainly exciting and more importantly, personal to you. If you are thinking about trying lucid sex for the first time, we have some tips that will make the process easier and more enjoyable.
- Whilst lucid dream sex is amazing, there are so many other things to discover in the lucid realm so do try not to get caught up with only sex in your dreams. Take the opportunity to explore other aspects and live out different types of fantasy such as turning into a mermaid, sitting on the moon or anything else that your imagination can conjure up.
- To limit the chances of your potential dream partner not engaging with you, try interacting with them in non-intimate ways before actually getting involved in any sexual activity. Much the same as real life, your dream characters are more likely to join in if there is a connection.
- Performing a reality check during waking sexual arousal may carry over into your lucid dreams making sex here more likely, enjoyable and easy.
It is little wonder that one of the most popular lucid dream goals is to have sex and experience heightened sensations. Besides, this type of sex frees you to fulfil your wildest fantasies without consequence, judgement or hurting anyone else’s feelings.
If you have ever experienced sex in a regular dream, you may have awoken to physical signs such as being sexually aroused or having an increased heart rate and this is exacerbated when having sex in a lucid dream, making the experience unlike anything else.
Lucid dream sex is perfectly safe and can be experienced by anyone. However, it is important to remember that, as with all aspects of lucid dreaming, it does take some practise to get right.